Talking to my Angel

Last week I made the trip back home with the 3 kids, to attend my Great Grandma Clara's funeral. Unfortunately Brad was held up with big events at work, and couldn't come along, which made the drive home even harder. Not because of the kids or driving conditions, but the solitude of a 4 hour drive. As the kids slept I cried, reminiscing of childhood memories with my gma, and the special moments I was able to share with her over the last 28 yrs of my life.
When I was born, I became the 5th generation in my gma's family tree. And then 24 yrs later I was able to grant her first rank in the 5th generation as Dylan and Riley became her Great-Great Grandchildren. Then 4 yrs latter she was able to welcome g-g-grandchild #3 with Brady's arrival.
At 95 yrs of age she was still on top of her game...Lived on her own with very little assistance, very sharp mind, and although she'd disagree with you, very able body...I think she thought 95 yr olds should still be able to do cart wheels? All this brings her death even harder to take. What was first thought to be flu symptoms turned alarming and into a GI obstruction that her body became poisoned by and she just couldn't fight it off. As her systems began to shut down surgery was just not an option. Less than 24 hrs latter she was gone.
It was especially hard for me to see my mom and family mourning Gma's death. She wasn't a grandma to my mom... she was a Mom... This struck deeper. As a teenager my mom's mother abandoned her family, leaving my grandpa to parent 5 young kids on his own. Gma was a widow and so really took them in, to help raise her 5 grandkids. Long before gma was a saving grace, but it was during the tough teenage years she was the one my mom looked up to. She was there to lean on when times were tough, and there to cheer her on to victories. The touching thing that I've now been able to see from their relationship, is how she showed my mom what being a gma is all about. My mom always makes her time with the boys so special...she always puts them first, encourages them to explore new things, teaches them to respect others and never forgets to reward them with special treats, just like gma Clara did for us.

So as I drove down Hwy 2 I started to think... If I could have one last conversation with Gma, what would I say...

Grandma Clara,
When I think back to our special times together I'm reminded of many different things. Mush for breakfast, Mac & Cheese with sugar on top for lunch, fresh vegetables from your garden for supper and strawberry malts for bedtime snack. I remember spending many days playing around the farm; playing out in the open well spout, swimming in the ditch water, exploring the vacant buildings, goofing around in the old outhouse, weeding the garden (eating the strawberries), and riding bike around your triangle flower garden...I swear gma we didn't mean to run over your pretty flowers, just took the corner too tight and Opps! The times we were forced indoors, I loved playing restaurant at your basement bar, and using all your 7-up to make it even more real. Oh and you had the fastest carpet steps I've ever seen!! And when that was called off, the laundry shoot was pretty fun too...The catch box at the bottom was a great hiding space;-) I know I share a lot of the same stories as many of my cousins, and aunts and uncles- every kid had adventures at your house. No matter what it was, it was always fun at grandmas house. Even when you tried to install the fear of the Hustamonic! You always made us feel special, grandma. I loved spending time at your house.
As an adult, I looked forward to our weekly Saturday calls, to tell you what the babies were up to. Even though we couldn't visit often when Dylan and Riley were little, you always kept tabs on us, to make sure they were doing well. I enjoyed sharing their milestones, and stories with you. I wanted you to watch them grow like you did with me. When Brady came along you did the same... I'll miss those calls. I'm so glad you got to meet my boys, grandma. I'm so proud of them and honored to share them with you... Your 5th generation. I'm so glad you got to squeeze them, hold them and give them a kiss on the cheek. I hope they can picture your face forever. They will always be reminded of you, and how much you loved them.
Grandma I am so thankful you were there for my mom when she was growing up. You gave her a role model to look up to and values to what being a mother is all about. You gave her and taught her unconditional love. The same love that has trickled down, and will continue to trickle down the generations. You always put family first, and went to great lengths to make sure we were all taken care of, it was never about you, you brought us all together.
There's so much more I want to say, and I don't want to end our conversation here, nor say good bye. So if its alright with you I'd still like to check in every once in awhile...Through my thoughts... I'll think of you often and you help guide me when I go astray. I Love you Grandma...