I hate to complain, but its my blog, so I can complain if I want to- right?!
Today was another very uncomfortable day...sore hips, pelvis pressure, cramps and pains. Things just don't feel right "down there"- I keep reminding myself, of course it doesn't.. There's a 6lb kid hanging out in your uterus, and he's probably trying to get comfortable too.
This morning I had to call Brad with a little cry... Everything is just building up all at once and I'm slowly coming un-done. My body is telling me to slow down and put the superwoman aside for these last few weeks, yet I fall to listen. I drag my butt to work every day to make a buck and build up my PTO for maternity leave. Then in the evenings chase around the house trying to keep the tidiness and chaos in order. Of course I still have a list of things I want to get done before the baby arrives... you know- more home projects, organizing and cleaning. Like the kid is going to care if the walls are washed or the white base boards are touched up? But for some reason lately I've been noticing all these little things around the house that just need to be looked after before the baby comes... and of course they aren't things that I am physically capable of doing on my own these days, so I have to try and enlist the help of Brad- who has no interest in my great ideas. All this stupidness does is create anxiety that eventually turns into tears. I'm turning into a hormonal mess...
I didn't think I was ever really affected by the raging pregnancy hormones, until this past week. Yeah, ok there's been a few along the way, but that's nothing compared to what most other women experience. These past 6 days I've noticed (and have willingly admitted to) the instability of my emotions. All the while making sure to point out to my hubby that it could have been worse. He's been a sport- and althought Brad's not one of many words when it comes to "feelings" he did come through today. He gave me the support and validation I needed...yes being pregnant is tough and yes what I'm going through really does really suck at times. From a very pessimistic man came great optimism and encouragement to hang in there, slow down and try to enjoy the last few weeks of my miraculous job of bearing this child. That's all I needed... a little help putting the pieces back together to stand me back up to face tomorrow.
So as I step back and think about how far I (we've) come with this pregnancy without a single complaint or concern, I am thankful. Extremely thankful that I haven't had more things to complain about. That I haven't been on bed rest or delivered a pre-term baby whose at risk for complications. Or worse yet, never been given the opportunity to do this a second time around.
So even though I complain, do know that I am more grateful and just hormonal right now, as I impatiently anticipate the arrival of my little man.
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2 comments:
The last few weeks are the hardest, you want it over yet you don't. You want to get stuff done, but it doesn't, you want to rest but can't. In a few short weeks or days maybe that little guy will be here. I can't wait to see your blog and his adorable face.
See ya soon!
Lynnsey
Good grief girl! Sit down, put your feet up, open up a carton of cotton candy ice cream and relax.
Like you won't have time to fluff up the place after baby comes. I can think of at least one grandmother who will be there to pitch in. (Sometimes you have to remind us that we need to go home too.)
All will be fine. You'll see.
Hugs,
Auntie Kim
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